HOW TO COACH GIRLS: On enforcing parent code of conduct
Dr. Heather Bergeson, Pediatrician, Hockey Mom, and Sports Medicine Physician talks about the dangers of our current youth sports culture.
Our current youth sports culture is putting the emotional and physical health of our children in danger. How did we get here? Why does the culture persist? What can we do to transform youth sports into the positive, inspiring, character-building experience it can be? Heather Bergeson is a Sports Medicine Physician and Pediatrician at TRIA Orthopedic Center, Assistant Adjunct Professor of Orthopedic Surgery at the University of Minnesota, and Team Physician for the Gopher Women’s Hockey Team. As a Positive Coaching Alliance – Minnesota Chapter Board Member and an Edina Hockey mom to two kids who also enjoy playing multiple sports, she is passionate about the benefits of youth sports, but also concerned and alarmed by the current trends and culture of youth sports
What are the biggest differences coaching girls versus boys?
NAYS.org has a great article on focusing on the positive:
Dr. Sheriece Sadberry, sports psychologist: “Instead of focusing on what went wrong during the game, parents should focus on all the things their young athlete did right and things that they can improve on.”
We agree! Ainslee Lamb, a contributing coach for HOW TO COACH GIRLS talks about asking the team what went right.
The Vancouver Sun has an article that spoke to us:
Ravi Kahlon: To invest in girls, get them into sports
Image: GERRY KAHRMANN / PNG
“Research shows that although boys and girls have the same innate physical abilities and start out equally active, girls’ athletic skills start falling behind after the age of seven. This gap only increases with age.
Only eight percent of girls are getting enough physical activity, compared to 14 percent of boys.
If girls haven’t participated in sports by the time they are 10 years old, there is only a 10-per-cent chance they will do so later in life. Moreover, by the time girls turn 13, they start dropping out of sports and other regular physical activities at twice the rate of boys.
Besides building strength and endurance, physical activity improves thinking and learning, emotional regulation and self-control, stress management, self-esteem, self-worth, resilience, and the ability to cope with anxiety and depression. Kids who engage in regular physical activity are more socially connected, successful, and less likely to use drugs than their inactive peers.
Girls who don’t participate in regular sports activities don’t get these benefits — which can limit their ability to reach their full potential.
Lessons learned on the sports field — such as teamwork, goal-setting, time management — transfer well to the boardroom and other career pursuits. Women who stay involved in sports often thrive in all aspects of life.
The challenge is encouraging more girls to get involved in sports when they are young and stay active — particularly during the critical teen years.”
Ravi Kahlon, a two-time Olympian in field hockey, and was elected Delta North MLA in 2017. He is parliamentary secretary for sport and multiculturalism.
If anyone wishes to buy books for their town team or club team, Audrey Press offers volume discounts.
Review by Carolyn Wilhelm:
Whether you are a parent or teacher coach, this book would be a welcome addition to your library as it has a wealth of information, wisdom, and experience that will enhance any coaching experience. If you wish someone could sit down with you and share what really works, doesn’t work, and why in coaching girls, read this book for such advice. The authors state that 70% of all kids quit organized sports by the age of 13, with girls quitting at six times the rate of boys? This is certainly true in my experience. Team sports help children develop friendships, learn cooperation skills, have increased fitness, and understand expectations. It is wonderful when coaches offer their time to help students develop in these ways.
Chapters include such topics as keeping it fun, promoting a growth mindset, and developing good people (not just good players). The focus is on the overall development of the person (girl) and not only athletic skill level. There are solutions to specific issues such as when coaching your own daughter and handling a losing streak. Body image is another important topic covered. There are specific “code of conduct” lists for players and parents. Having parents sign a contract is a proactive method of preventing specific issues that could arise. This book has it all!
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Thanks for hosting us Soccer Girl Problems!
Is it surprising that girls and women regularly underestimate their abilities and intelligence? It’s the opposite for boys and men who often overestimate theirs.
Katelyn Cooper, a doctoral candidate at Arizona State University, and her team asked 250 undergraduate biology students about their intelligence as compared to their peers.
“I would ask students about how their classes were going and I noticed a trend,” Cooper said. “Over and over again, women would tell me that they were afraid that other students thought that they were ‘stupid.’ I never heard this from the men in those same biology classes, so I wanted to study it.”
She found that men are 3.2 times more likely than women to believe they are smarter. On average, a man has a 61% chance of believing he is smarter than his colleagues, while a woman has only a 33% chance.
This confidence disparity by gender is not just true for biology students. Girls (and women) also underestimate their abilities across the board from academics to the workplace to sports. And, also notable, is that boys (and men) are the complete opposite, often believing that they are better than they actually are.
Read the rest here.
Thank you for your tweets Jared Fritz! His daughter’s high school coach’s coaching style resulted in losing 10 teammates. He tweeted to us:
From my daughter “I feel that the coaches do not really care about making people feel wanted” As a dad, how do I encourage her to still play?
We wondered if the coach was overwhelmed? Perhaps the coach needed an assistant coach or a parent team manager? Also, we wondered if his daughter had friends on the team and that would motivate her to stay on the team.
Has friends on the team. Coach has an assistant. Likely needs help with relating and motivating to HS Girls. Has been explained his philosophy chasing kids away. Mine another in a long line
Unfortunately, the coach simply seems to have a philosophy of weeding out players. We responded that if the coach seems the attrition as an issue and is concerned, then our book might help. If not, our advice would be to go above to his boss to point out the problem.
His most recent tweet makes us so happy!
@HowToCoachGirls Bought and read your book. Truly profound. My daughter is reading now and we will then discuss. I’ve introduced to her the idea of managing upward and being able to be the change agent because she now knows how to fix it. Insight is very powerful.
The turning point for women in sports was Title IX, a federal civil rights law in the U.S., passed as part of the Education Amendments of 1972. Before Title IX, one in 27 girls played sports. Today that number is two in five.*
Similarly, there were almost no college athletic scholarships for women 40 years ago. Now, almost 200,000 women play college sports, and many of those athletes get scholarships. But there is still significant work to be done. The playing field is still not equal despite Title IX.Representative Patsy Mink of Hawaii, Title IX co-author, for whom the law was renamed in 2002.
Girls (and boys) of color still lack access sports.** This is an issue of poverty that also affects children who are not of color. The rise of club sports monetizes youth development in sports, shutting out those who can’t pay to play. And, the path to playing sports in college is often determined by the ability of parents to pay for development. Continue reading “Women in Sports Today: Female Coaches Are The Final Frontier”
Coaching Girls: How to deliver feedback effectively
Mia: My daughter’s club volleyball coach is amazing; he thanks players for running for an out of bounds ball that they have no hope of getting. They would walk through fire for him. I asked him when we headed over to the team dinner one night if he had always coached this way. He told me that he used to be the kind of coach who was the hardest on the most promising player, but he learned that you can’t coach girls in that way.
We are thrilled to have a chapter of HOW TO COACH GIRLS featured in Soccer America!
The clique factor — how coaches can mix it up to make a stronger team
Mia: An issue for my middle daughter when she played club soccer was carpools. The problem was that she was the only person on her team from her town. There were three other carpools based on location and then a few girls who were also the only ones from their town. It wasn’t that the girls from town carpools were inherently mean or exclusive or catty … but they came into practice as group who carpooled together, and most had played together for years on town teams together. They talked about people who went to their school who no one else knew. And, on the field, one group had a — most likely unconscious — tendency to pass to each other.